Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Thanks...

Encouragement I've received:

  1. Gambateh!
  2. Good luck you!
  3. Get ready to scream out lungs!
  4. Wah. So hard ah, you study.
  5. I’m sure you can make it, yes you can baby!
  6. We're going clubbing now. I'm sorry you'll have to stay here. Wake me up at 6 when you get up in the morning.
  7. Come out for supper? Destress before banana lah.
  8. 加油, 加油, 加油
  9. I want to pinch your cheeks.
  10. I love you!

None make any sense to me. The tones are all wrong!!! WRONG!

But anyway,

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Learning SAT is as simple as learning ABC

SAT word of the day: pusillanimously. Which means: Timidly, faint-heartedly.

Doesn't it sound so... dodgy?

Omg die la.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sleep.. it's the new S.E.X.

Did you think about it all the time?

Every seven seconds? or more?

You talk about it, brag and make jokes.
"Oh man, you won't even believe how many hours it lasted."
"You're kidding! All I got last night was a five minute quickie!"

The fact of the matter is, you NEED it.

We all have our "requirements." Our "quotas."

Don't be ashamed.

It's perfectly natural!

And, like it or not, everyone does it.

Our grandparents did it... Oprah does it... In fact, your mom is probably doing it right now.

And if you don't get enough?

You're not alone.

The nights are the worst.

That's when you walk down the streets knowing that EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GETTIN' SOME!


Sleep: the sex of our generation.

...the nights are the worst...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Botak Like Me

For the years question had haunted me: What is it like, really like, to be a bald man in Malaysia today? Early in 2002, I decided to find out myself. And no, I'm not joking. I resolved to cross the hair line and personally experience the world of bald man.


The following is a brief account of my eight hairless months.


Shortly after having my scalp scrapped smooth in a local Indian barber shop, my mother saw me for the first time. At first, she said nothing. Then she regained consciousness. I soon discovered that not all bald men lead glamorous lives like Bruce Wills and Vin Diesel.


Protracted baldness does, however, have its drawbacks; sunburn was a particularly painful side effect during that times. On bright days, people like me often suffer from something akin to snow blindness, owing to the intense glare my scalp radiated.


Although a hairless head might appear to be easy to care for, baldness actually entails a hygienic trade-off: less hair to comb, in exchange for more face to wash.


As my hair gradually grew back after I stopped shaving regularly some weeks ago, I noticed that during the early stage my head was useful for sanding irregularly objects and for scouring pots, pans, bowls, and the like.


Now, as my naturally hair grows in more fully, I find that my head readily clings to nearly every kind of fur, fabric, and coarse material. For lack of a better term, I call this phenomenon “The Velcro Effect.”

Friday, October 17, 2008

Untitled

I cannot heal my heart.


But as starfishes do with limbs, I shall grow a new one.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

If there's one event I can change, it'd be leaving you.
If there's one mind I can change, it'd be yours.
If there's one memory I can change, it'd be mine.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road (Part 2)

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me…

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more.

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

Chicken shall not shit while crossing the road. This is for a green environment.

LEE KUAN YEW:

We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should follow instructions while crossing the road.

CP:

The sexy chicken crossed the road because it wanted to!

MAHATHIR:

Now even non-bumi chickens want to cross the road! How can they disrespect and disregard apa nama bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our special privilege and no one can challenge that!

SHAHRIR:

All foreign chickens are welcome in Malaysia but they must not cross over the road within 50km of the border.

ANWAR:

We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.

SAMY VELLU:

Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.

NAJIB RAZAK:

What chickens? I don't know any chickens... especially those from Mongolia…

ABDULLAH BADAWI:

We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ……zzZZzz……zzZZzz…… Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I was browsing through You Tube and stumbled upon these two funny video clips.
It's hilarious. Check them out. Am sure you'll pecah perut!