one

I have of late been thinking about numbers quite a lot, the number one in particular. The abstract quality of numbers fascinates me, and I have been trying to relate them to other abstract concepts, like wholeness and love and perfection.

For example, a glass – Glass A. If Glass A has a small chip in it, it isn’t less than one glass. If it has a small lump on it, it isn’t more than one glass. The glass is still one; it is one of itself. It is a perfect Glass A.

This inspires further thought. It is impossible ever to have duplicate Glass A’s. The ideal glass exists only in theory. How, then, can two things ever have enough in common to be called two? Put two glasses together and all you have is two ones. The ideal two does not exist. There is no such thing as the ideal two.

I found this concept very disturbing. The ramifications of the nonexistence of the number two would be extensive. How could there be true love without two? I asked friends, teachers; no one had the answer.

Fortunately, I came across a solution to this problem just recently, in e. e. cummings’ poem, “if everything happens that can’t be done,” He sets up the idea of the individual one with lines like “there’s nothing as something as one” and “one’s everyanything.” He then reveals that two ones are involved with each other – in love. He unites these ideas, wrapping it up beautifully in the last stanza:

we’re anything brighter than even
the sun
(we’re everything greater
than books
might mean)
we’re everyanything more than
believe
(with a spin
leap
alive we’re alive)
we’re wonderful on times one

One times one! It makes so much sense. We don’t generally think of multiplication using two objects. Usually, we think, “One apple one time” – equals one apple. However, Punnett squares have shown that multiplying one horse by one donkey will yield one mule. Decidedly different from either of the originals, it nevertheless combines characteristics of both into one being.

So it must be with people. The love of two individuals, while independent of one another, blends together to form one love – their love. People speak of “our love” or “the love between us” or “the love that we share.” The two ones multiply to equal one, but that final one is different, seems richer, fuller than either of the originals.

The implications are intriguing. I had no idea that numbers could mean so much. It’s paradox, because mathematics is the ultimately logical system, totally intolerant of interpretation, I think these ideas merit further development – after all, I haven’t even begun to think about zero.

coloured

Written by an African child. I like.

*****

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you gray

And you calling me coloured?

growing out

I keep asking myself if I will outgrow blogging. And for a moment, I thought I did.

Blogging is really something I will always enjoy doing. And it has transformed from being a conduit to voice out my thoughts for people to read to something which I just do when I feel like doing it. Like reading. Or thinking. Or staring out the window.

I don't know. I don't blog to tell the world what I think anymore. My creative energy is now put into other pursuits, which I hope to continue at a later date and time. Right now, I have rock-climbing, backpacking (from KL to Phuket and to Bangkok and back to KL), dancing classes (popping, breakdance or hip hop?) and cooking lessons (I need to inherit my mum’s culinary skills before I leave) to think of. And they are most probably few very important and exciting things for me in these two months.

don't know why

i



don't

understand

why

people

put

so

many

photos

on

their

blogs

Welcome to Perak's Circus

I'll go to Ipoh to watch a clown-act the next time I need a laugh...

Susan Boyle, from Shrek to My Fair Lady

Is dubbed "The Woman Who Shut Up Simon Cowell"

“I know what they were thinking, but why should it matter as long as I can sing? It’s not a beauty contest”
The Sunday Times

“A role model for everyone who has a dream”
Elaine Paige

“Britain's newest pop sensation”
ABC News

“We are in critical condition in facilitating Boyle’s rapid rise to fame”
YouTube, Facebook, Twitter

“Modern society is too quick to judge people on their appearances. [...] There is not much you can do about it; it is the way they think; it is the way they are. But maybe this could teach them a lesson, or set an example”
The Washington Post

“It was a victory for talent and artistry in a culture obsessed with physical attractiveness and presentation”
Entertainment Weekly

“Boyle's performance was a triumph for "women of a certain age" over a youth culture that often dismisses middle-aged women”
The Huffington Post

“She's an everywoman as opposed to an untouchable fantasy goddess, so maybe that's why people react to her. [...] They say, 'She's one of us, but look how talented she is”
Los Angeles vocal coach Eric Vetro

“The biggest wake-up call ever on hearing her sing”
Amanda Holden

Boyle became known when she sang "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Misérables in the the first round of the third series of the show. She is on her way to superstardom!

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.

And still I dream he'll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather...

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.

I dreamed a dream

Les Miserables

misunderstood or mis-understood?

Somebody once told me
If you’re misunderstood, it’s your fault
You’re responsible, not the other party

Because
You’re responsible for the words that came out of your mouth
That you say them in a way the meaning is correctly put across
That the meaning which leaves your mouth
is the same meaning received at the other end
That your speech attains its desired effect
Then is it useful and effective speech
That it’s not what you said but what was heard
That it’s not what you meant but what people perceived you meant
That people understand you correctly
That you’re not misunderstood
If not, it’s your fault
You’re responsible

Yes, very utilitarian
Very practical advice
Makes you even more responsible for what you say
If you aren’t already
But then again…

Now, how much of a responsibility is that?
That you’re not only responsible for yourself and what you say
But you’re also responsible for what others hear or mis-hear, understand or mis-understand?

Is it “Misunderstood”
That the whole word comes as one?
That the whole word belongs to you?
Your responsibility?

Or is it “Mis-understood”
That “mis” is added to “understood”?
That perhaps at times
It’s beyond you?

“Misunderstood” or “Mis-understood”?

Learnt this from a friend:
“To go on living without fear. Fear of not being
[correctly understood or] rightfully acknowledged by everyone.”