who? me? elite?

If you think Malaysia is elitist, what do you call a country where:

1. The best universities are private institutions, i.e. not gahmen-funded, i.e. only those who can afford education get it. And I mean afford with a capital A. to the tune of US$50,000 a year.
2. Admission to these institutions is a totally opaque affair. There is no accountability, and rejection is just a fact of life, no questions asked. There is no such thing as an appeal, hor.
3. You do not even have to pretend to be competent to rise to the top. You can average a C+ in college, and still be president for 8 years. Just because your daddy blazed the trail for you. Or more accurately, because your family owns lots of oil in the land of the cowboys.

The Tipping Point

Recently, I have been inundated with Facebook friend requests from the lala land I call home. I think Facebook in Malaysia is about to reach the tipping point soon. It’ll explode in about may of this year. So when it does, don't pretend you heard it somewhere else.

Basically, Facebook is like the fax machine. It is only useful if other people have it. That’s why people on Facebook keep inviting their non-facebook friends to join because you don't want to look like a loser who has no friends.

So, if you like to look at your friends' photos, see who their friends are, look at your friends' friends' photos, see who their friends are and so on, sign up right here. It sounds silly, but shows me someone who is not a voyeur, and I’ll show you a liar.

As always, remember where you heard it first.

stop it, now!

Colgate - Tak Nak

Me: So what are your safety schools? Have you decided on it?

XXX: Hmmm… Well I haven’t finalised yet.

Me: Hey maybe you should try applying to Emory, Purdue, Colgate, etc…

XXX: What? Colgate? Are you kidding me?

Me: What’s wrong with it?

XXX: I didn't want to go to a school with the name of toothpaste.

Me: Colgate seriously needs to do some market research on its name.

Me & XXX: *grinning like idiots*

The Interview

I think I’d share my awkward college interview moments here. You know, those moments where you just go, "Wait, did I really say that?" and you cringe on the inside, hoping your interviewer didn't notice.

Anyway, I'll start it off. This is during my ABC interview (details shall be withheld for privacy).

At the very end of the interview, as I was getting up to leave, my interviewer remarked, "Sorry, I obviously made you talk too much because you barely drank anything!"

So the Italian soda I ordered was HUGE, and of course I barely made a dent in it. I don't think I talked that much. Anyway, I didn't want her to feel bad about not letting me drink (didn't want her to feel bad, ha. I'd have just said "Oh it's okay." Silly me, over thinking everything)! So I replied, "Oh no, I don't really like cold drinks."

BUT THEN! Okay, I must think differently during interviews or something (seriously). So I'm thinking - but wait! I don't want her to think that I don't like cold drinks and that I only like hot drinks. This is so tragic! What should I do?

So I add in like 2 seconds later, "Well, I don't really like hot drinks either..."

She looks at me strangely. I realize what I’ve just said. Now she thinks I don't like hot drinks OR cold drinks when I really like both. Ah, it was traumatizing!

There was an awkward silence, until she finally said: "So...you like...lukewarm drinks."

I died a little bit on the inside, but nodded vigorously. Then she gave me a REALLY strange look and I grinned sheepishly.

SO TRAGIC! It was devastating. So I'm obviously not getting into ABC because of that. I can just see her writing on her interview report: "likes lukewarm drinks." Then the admissions people will read it and it'll come down to the final decision, and they'll decide that they don't really want people who like lukewarm drinks. Then my application will be tossed out the window.

Oh, and another one: if your interviewer is kind enough to take you out for lunch (TGI Fridays! I like Rice), do NOT order anything that you need to eat with your hands. In fact, plan ahead what you're going to order. I didn't, and ended up ordering a sandwich because the waiter came back too fast (!!!).

Our conversations were then:

Her: So what do you like to do in your spare time?

Me: *mouth and hands full* (*)&%%^#$%#@!@!&^^&(&).

Terrible, just terrible. I have plenty more (oh yes), but if somebody else wants to take the spotlight for now...

Reasons Why Studying is Better Than Sex

Tee hee, I found this list last night! (Yes, I have to resort to looking up strange things on the internet to amuse myself...) I think that everyone will appreciate this list.

Top Ten Reasons Studying is Better Than Sex...

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early with-out feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."

4. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.

3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help!

Any more? I'm sure we can come up with more clever reasons!

i'm back, again